Hi, everyone! I hope you all have had a great weekend. Mine was spent with family members . Saturday was my Aunt Nellen's 80th birthday, so her daughter very generously arranged a surprise party for her, and I got to see a lot of relatives that I normally don't see very often. It is so nice to see and talk to people that are pretty much obligated to love you no matter what! Haha!
Aunt Nellean was my grandmother Hattie's sister, who passed away almost three years ago. Granny was very special to me, and I always considered her and my other grandmother, Lannie, to be my role models in life. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with Granny's death, and I have only in the last few months felt like I have been able to peacefully deal with it (emotionally speaking). Then, Sunday we went to visit my in-laws, because it was my mother-in-law's birthday. We were going to grill out, but it started raining, so we decided to drive to a nearby town to eat instead. As I was sitting in the backseat of my in-law's car, with my husband beside me, I suddenly began feeling very anxious and claustrophobic. Then my feet started going numb and I knew I was about to have a panic attack. Fortunately, I moved up to the front seat and felt some better. Eventually, another wave of panic hit me, but I was able to work through it without it escalating too much. I couldn't believe it. I haven't had a panic attack in a long, long time....months. Then I started thinking about it, and realized that it was probably due to having been so emotionally upset the night before.
Even though I had a good time at my aunt's birthday celebration, it really hit me hard after I got home that my grandmother wasn't there, and of course, I missed her. And I grieved for her. And I felt fine Sunday, until I got in the back seat to go out to eat. It was very unexpected, not to mention disheartening as panic attacks (or the intense fear of having them) has completely altered the course of my life over the last year or so. I find it fascinating that our body can't handle things even when we think we can...I'm just trying now to not let it discourage me.
 |
| My mom, Aunt Nellean, sister Elizabeth and myself |
Aunt Nellean was my grandmother Hattie's sister, who passed away almost three years ago. Granny was very special to me, and I always considered her and my other grandmother, Lannie, to be my role models in life. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with Granny's death, and I have only in the last few months felt like I have been able to peacefully deal with it (emotionally speaking). Then, Sunday we went to visit my in-laws, because it was my mother-in-law's birthday. We were going to grill out, but it started raining, so we decided to drive to a nearby town to eat instead. As I was sitting in the backseat of my in-law's car, with my husband beside me, I suddenly began feeling very anxious and claustrophobic. Then my feet started going numb and I knew I was about to have a panic attack. Fortunately, I moved up to the front seat and felt some better. Eventually, another wave of panic hit me, but I was able to work through it without it escalating too much. I couldn't believe it. I haven't had a panic attack in a long, long time....months. Then I started thinking about it, and realized that it was probably due to having been so emotionally upset the night before.
Even though I had a good time at my aunt's birthday celebration, it really hit me hard after I got home that my grandmother wasn't there, and of course, I missed her. And I grieved for her. And I felt fine Sunday, until I got in the back seat to go out to eat. It was very unexpected, not to mention disheartening as panic attacks (or the intense fear of having them) has completely altered the course of my life over the last year or so. I find it fascinating that our body can't handle things even when we think we can...I'm just trying now to not let it discourage me.
 |
| Ella and Marilyn, two of my favorites |
So why do I mention all this? Well, partly because it's heavily on my mind, and partly because one thing I like to do when I need to get my mind off something is listen to music. And if you like music, and don't know about Pandora Radio, you have to check it out! I've known about it for several months now and LOVE it! You pick out songs/artists you like and build your own radio "stations." Based on what you like and dislike, they will play music tailor-made to suit your taste! And the best part--it's free!! Well, I think you get 40 hours of listening time a month that is free, and if you want more than that, you have to pay for it. But all you need is an email address and go to www.pandora.com to make an account. I have been listening to my "Marilyn Monroe" station this evening which plays a mixture of the rat pack, Marilyn, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, Doris Day and others....it's amazing, and practically commercial-free!
Groove Shark is good for when you're at your computer. Sorry to hear about your anxiety. About the only time I ever feel that way is when we're out and it's really crowded. Sometimes, I feel like I should just start shouting, but I don't...I've got a toddler for that and that generally keeps me grounded. Also, I like how you worded your body shutting down when your mind thinks it's up for anything. I've also experienced that after an injury. Strange. Anyway. Enjoy your music!
ReplyDeleteI listen to Pandora a LOT. COnsidering the membership for more time of listening.
ReplyDeleteI have multiple stations for whatever my mood. We also can access it as an app on our tv so DH has channels too. I listen to 50's Rock and Roll a lot. And my channels of Andrews Sisters, Big Bopper, Everly Brothers, and quite a few more. :) LOVE it! Now if only I could listen in my 1991 Buick LOL!